It says, I love you so much that YOUR accomplishment can make ME feel pride. 7. . Later, I saw her in a restaurant and apologized for balling her out in public. Why are you taking the credit for my effort? (I'd prefer "Congratulations! To say you're proud of someone is to say that you can relate to them and, if in their shoes, you would be proud of the accomplishment. A parent might say this to a child, perhaps. The child has done well enough for the parent to bring out the big guns the proud word. You are taking joy in someone else doing good. When someone knows that you are not only proud, but you are inspired and amazed, it will be an even better compliment. I am still so mad, but I havent said anything about it. And, you are the best thing ever to happen to me. But, why does the response "me too" sound natural in response to "I am glad to meet you". It reaffirms the choice you made is good and right, nothing more. I have a one year old boy and a two month old boy, and I had my first day back at work yesterday. You might say: "I'm so proud of you for trying to quit smoking. 5. This is a noble endeavor. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful Which brings me to my next point. Everything you do is with excellence. Someone has just gone out of their way to say something nice to you. I was actually kicked out of my house at 16 by her and her new husband and had financial trouble during my years in school that she had contributed to, how in the hell can she be proud of me when all she did was hinder me? When somebody says that you are wrong: "You are entitled to your incorrect opinion." To each his own. Required fields are marked *. I was an ambitious student with a goal to attend university, which my father completely supported. 2. Instead, I try implementing the approach from Parent Effectiveness Training (PET), a peaceful, gentle approach to parenting, that teaches respectful communication skills, and offers alternatives to using rewards (such as praise), or punishments (such as saying "Im disappointed"). I am very proud of you too; we all are. Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. Just think of The Sixth Sense, where the son tells his mother that his dead grandmother wanted her daughter to know that the answer to her unspoken question was Every day., His mother begins to cry, and he asks her, What did you ask grandma, and she replies through her tears, Are you proud of me?. Bless me that I keep doing bigger things than this. Were brothers, dont you forget that! When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. One man said, "I am so proud of my partner when we are at receptions together; many men are around her wishing to make love to her . What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? 16. Linda Adams, in her book Be Your Best, quotes Charleszetta Waddles (African American activist): You cant give people pride, but you can provide the kind of understanding that makes people look to their inner strengths and find their own sense of pride. Why is your manager taking credit for the work you put into the report? This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. However, is this what happens? You should always be proud of who you are imo, and if that includes your nationality then that's fine. They seem to make him quite happy. Praise such as this is a subject on its own much research and many, many books have been written on the negative aspects of praise. Thanks to you, as well for being such a caring and supportive partner. (I'd prefer "I'm really impressed with report - I can see how much effort you put in, and it's going to be helpful for the organisation". Well, thats what we are going to share in this post. I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything in the world. They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. I am trying very, very hard not to implode. You are happy they are an ambassador for you. Im so glad that youre there for giving me support. Since first publishing this piece, I've spent many years thinking about, and discussing, why children might like to hear their parents say "I'm proud of you". the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. Updated 7th September 2016; and 19th April 2019. Maybe instead of telling me hes proud of me, like its such a surprise, maybe he should have just offered to do the dishes. These two simple words"I care"can mean so much to a person who may be feeling like the entire world is against them. We love all of our readers and we want to you to know how much youre appreciated! And, here are the respectful replies to respond with: 1. If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. If these 10 phrases come up often, they're signs he doesn't want a relationship with you, and you should move on with someone who can be the person you deserve. This is what makes the difference in whether the receiver feels great or resentful. 1 y. She continually updates her course with new examples and relevant material from the latest research. I think the phrase Im proud of you is insulting, for the reasons noted above. I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. One of the wives of these manual labourers had befriended me in church and was an older woman. 12. . Here are 5 other ways to say "I'm proud of you" to older children: 06 "It's been an honor to watch you grow up." This can be used for both a teen and an adult. Never downplay the way you feel about someone's abilities and effort. And if one doesnt respect ones parent, what is the reaction to such a statement? Sajeev Rajan The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation. "We will always remember. It's a pleasure to congratulate you on this lovely moment. In what context. 2. You would have to know the whole story. Also, as bilabial says, I like the recognize traits he values in himself, like his thoroughness and carefulness. Paul urged his young companion Timothy to be "a worker who does not need to be ashamed" (2 Timothy 2:15). By the fifth repeat of the painting, the response from him mother may quite different from the first. I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. Ive been lurching between How can you be proud of someone elses children? but then challenging that with But then as we do both have a close relationship with her we probably have had some influence on how shes turning out . 2014, 2016, 2019. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude has many benefits. Consider why you so are grateful for this thing or person. Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . 10. 2. Health Gap. My mother said it to me when I graduated from college and I will never forget it. Before you bring your GF home, know- How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, now. Rather, relationship skills where we communicate respectfully by listening, by positive I-Messages, by problem solving with our child, will help ensure our children feel connected and valued, and provide our children with a sense of emotional safety. Posted articles do not constitute advice or recommendations. But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. This is when his feelings go deeper than the surface, and he genuinely cares about you as a person. The words hit me like a . 3. But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. I still think she was doing this at the time. You shouldnt be. 4. Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. Lets see where we can go with this. "Always work hard, be honest, and be proud of who you are.". This is 20 years ago, and I still remember this moment. He may not have expected you to be qualified for the job. Living with a parents disapproval, or continually seeking a parents approval, is a life-long burden. To reply to that right, here are the better and funny responses to I am proud of you from your bestie. So, how should we respond to Im proud of you? Even if it's true, he says, "I don't want to think that I was walking around for a long time looking like hell.". Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. It remains condescending and arrogant. Give yourself time to process your reaction to something before jumping in with a response. 11. You are asked at the cocktail party what you do. "How long have you been sober?". You look so much better!". ie you have brought them up as parents and are proud of them for their achievements or manners etc. On the other hand, my brother has said it to me, and although he did not play a role in my achievement, it still meant something positive to me and it felt good. 15. Well cover some of the better responses you can give, like thanking them, making them feel special, or making them laugh. She says "Good boy. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! I know that it is in the nature of the internet that you can confirm, and get consensus about most any belief you have, but, if that is what has happened here, Im OK with it. Your email address will not be published. stories on the Parent Skills website are posted only as opinion or ideas, and are general in nature. That makes you a living miracle. The way you _____ is such a perfect addition for our family. I almost never tell anyone Im proud of them, for exactly this reason. That way, all they have to do is show up. 11. "I know how you feel". Self-doubt can make it hard to accept compliments and to express gratitude for the words of others. And thats enough for me. It is a feeling of relief and it was all worth while you bringing them up properly. Want to Change the Way you React to Your Children? Also, I really like the litmus test of how you would feel on the receiving end. Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. I'll help with whatever you need to make it . They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. Here are seven possible ways to interpret his compliment. Happy I did it, finally! In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. This is why we say, I am very happy for you! They are the one to feel proudit was THEIR accomplishment. So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? Its really a way of saying I am really the one who is special, Im the boss.and what it deserves is not thank you but rather, well kiss my ass you condescending bastard..get a lifethis proud of you nonsense is also related to people who have to say WELL GOOD FOR YOU when doing something mundane..like, someone catches me reading a book in publicoh, you are readingWELL, GOOD FOR YOU!! Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? Children whose parents constantly say "I'm proud of you" may grow to be adults who rely on other people's opinion of them for validation. This post was actually very helpful for me! When I tell my kids Im proud they are surprised and pleased. "I know someone in recovery". Do you mean you are also proud of yourself or that you are proud of the other person? It is arrogant. Don't disguise it as concern, either. You haven't said who is speaking to whom. This expression is much more self-focused, i.e. How might you feel as the worker? The Mindset of the Ambitious Educational Elite, Thinking Clearly about a Persons Substance Amidst Stylistic Differences, On Intentionally Vague, Mystique-Infused Explanations of Talent, Book Notes: Lost & Found by Kathryn Shulz, Mindfulness of Consciousness Meditation Retreat. From that day on, I felt like I couldnt really trust him, and now I know why. Its also important to remember the power of positive reinforcement and the benefits of responding with gratitude. But if someone says this to you, without further explanation, then it means that you are not a priority to them, they have other things that they are doing. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. I wish everyone had a genuine friend like you. I can make it possible only because you give me hope. I knew it, if no one was going to like this. But this seems less common. Powered by WordPress. #8: They say you need to change. ". Well done!. Praise does not help bring up children who have an internal belief in themselves, of self-worth. An acquaintance commented on a recent Facebook post I made that he was proud of me and immediately I felt so mad about that but couldnt figure out why. God being what He is, at once moral and all-powerful, the immoral life is doomed to overthrow, whether the immorality consist in grasping rapacity, proud self-aggrandizement, cruel exaction, exulting triumph or senseless idolatry. Im so glad to hear that. We learn from every step we take. Be proud that you are here. He thinks you're absolutely wonderful and he's pumped to be in a relationship with you; it's written all over his face. One might consider that the mature thing to do, or the business savvy thing to do, but she has had nothing to do with them for years, because they are arrogant and condescending. Im excited, are you? And now, that you have the other responses to I am proud of you, you can share the same based on whos saying this and after which event. The reader alone is responsible for any action they take as a result of reading this website. I was very annoyed with her (mainly due to her attitude) and balled her out at the til. 26. But I believe that spouses say it, and siblings. Also, theyre proud of you, when you do something like your family has been doing or you did something way greater or different than anyone in your family so far. Disclaimer: The articles, blogs, testimonials and P.E.T. I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . Marilyn, My life changed the day I heard Mr. Rogers tell me he liked me just the way I was. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. Did I do anything extraordinary? They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. Hosted by Pressable. 10. 14. She only ever said it once but it has stuck with me forever: What if you really are proud of the person? I have a little brother who is rather insecure and jealous of me, a very controlling person that thinks having a relationship with each other means that I put up with him trying to make me feel less than in the power scheme, which is precisely why I totally avoid him My YOUNGER brother about my creative talents has to say..I am extremely proud of you..for a bit, this has thrown me off, and I was not able to quite articulate how this really got under my skin, why I did a search on the phrase and have been thinking about itand yeah, it does seem a major insult when an emotionally uncool person whose relationship with you should be on equal terms has to act like a parent, always making a show of being the bigger man saying boy, I am so proud of you. Overall, seeing your parents, family and loved ones are proud of you, is a great compliment. I drove home and when I got home I texted her that I had arrived home safely. If its a long-term relationship, the mentor will genuinely care. This has always happened, but in a context like the current one, in which both rivalry and appearances are highly valued elements, it is very common for this class of individuals, educated to become this way, to appear. "Nothing is ever wrong. An FBI witness says that members of the far-right Proud Boys had hoped to assassinate Vice President Mike Pence and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi during last week's violent storming of the U.S . Feb 10, . Well, that truly makes my day. Pause, take a deep breath, and remember who you really are. Keep believing in me, I will make you proud more and more. What is BBC Future? Id opt for saying, Im happy for you. Thank you for starting this. Try these new and funny excuses to ask for money from your parents or your family. It felt great, and as he falls into both of the categories above, was fully appreciated. I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. Thank you so much! He remembers things that you tell him. 12. 12. First, there's physical attraction. (I'd prefer "Congratulations! She is an accredited and highly experienced P.E.T. It is an accomplishment that makes good memories in life. Whatever influence we had on the person, or information we gave the person, what they did with it is their accomplishment not ours. He gets a "that's nice". Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. She reciprocated. JavaScript is disabled. I avoid "well done" or "good job" for all the reasons Ive stopped saying "Im proud of you". Based on the situation and who says this, heres a list of better responses to pick. I'm so proud of your painting!" Thank You. I was irritated by that remark. Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. PJ, I think your ex still cares for you so your accomplishments evoke pride in her. Ah. Ive had multiple people tell me theyre proud of me like my parents, grandparents, elders but it just doesnt mean anything to me, I dont have any emotional response from any of them and my response ends up being ok or yup. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? It's a pretty good deal. Rather than the child feeling respected for their efforts, they may feel patronised, put-down. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and can help you to overcome self-doubt. Looking for some extra money from your parents? Notify me of follow-up comments by email. I am so lucky to have you in my life and your . In this blog, well take a look at Im proud of you and how to respond to it in a meaningful way. Image used under license from Shutterstock, Larissa Dann. Lost Index. No matter who they are, they all have one thing in common they make us feel loved. Thats why we feel pride in our childrens accomplishments. Pretty much an entire generation of American kids heard it from Mr. Rogers. 25. Think of things people have often praised. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. Yes, I agree that it can also be very strong coming from siblings and spouses/lovers. It means she feels proud for what you've done or achieved. I googled a sentence on this topic to see if anyone had written on it (hoping they had). The rest were manual labourers. 16. Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. . "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? A: It's not necessarily wrong to take pride in our work, of course; if we don't, our work will probably end up sloppy or incomplete. 9. When you say, "I'm proud of you," you may actually be simply rejoicing in another. "You make me so mad.". My sons grew up together and are spaced two years apart. I think I instinctively recognized that the balance of power had somehow been upset, but couldnt put my finger on it. 1. Youre the most amazing parents and thank you for believing in me. My husband just said it to me a couple of days ago (for a little achievement I just made in my physique) and it made me happy as well. Use words that will strengthen your relationship. 6. Go To Homepage. Mull over various relaxing options, like meeting up for coffee or tea, and then send along one concrete plan, Manly says. A friend persevered in getting her masters degree after running into academic trouble as an undergrad. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. 8. And that's how I arrived at the "I'm Proud of You" litmus test. 1. I use the other terms like Im so happy for you. 2. 13. Grandparents And Grandchildren: Observations From A Parent In-Between. [Chorus] They say redemption's on your mind when you think about . I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. . My boyfriends ex, posted a im so proud of you on a photo he posted: something he achieved. When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration, respect, and gratitude for something you have done. This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. Just let them be. that he harrassed them or . Our children need to know that we believe in them, that we trust them, that we support them, that we love them, that we acknowledge them as individuals separate from us. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". That proud phrase didnt bother me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to wonder, what does she mean when she says shes proud of me? Probably no big deal but would be interested in input from others especially other females.

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